Ok fans, friends, and fellow TV junkies the moment you have been waiting for has arrived! We are finally filming season 6 of Millionaire Matchmaker. Hooray! I can’t believe it’s been 6 years already! Boy time flies when you’re having fun. So many millionaires and daters and mixers-oh my! I can’t wait for you all to see what we have in store for you.
One of the most frequent questions I get asked is “Rachel, how do you do it?” My answer: “I’m Super Woman duh!” Having to juggle a husband, career, and an almost-three-year-old son you have to be equipped with super powers to get it all done. Let’s face it we women are numero uno when it comes to multi-tasking. I can talk on the phone, make dinner, and send an email or twelve all at the same time. Men sorry to break it to you, the art of multi tasking is not your forte.
There are truly moments when I feel like pulling my hair out and throwing in the towel, but I hear those four sweet words “I love you mommy” from Sin and it’s all worthwhile. I used to have such guilt having to not be with Sin all the time but in this day and age women are “doing it for themselves.” We can have a career and a family and make it all work. The key is to not lose yourself along the way.
Moms this goes out to you: don’t feel because you are a mom you have to look frumpy and think everything is centered on your children. Don’t get me wrong family comes first, but you have to make time for YOU! Get dressed up, take a spa day, go out and have a ladies night with girls, plan a little weekend getaway. We moms know all too well that if we don’t get a break every now and then and get back to being a girl, we may as well check in to the funny farm. Ok, now go out and get a mani/pedi and drink a margarita!
Destin and I are such the nerds and proud of it! Now that we have our big boy and big girl pants on, we are having fun more at home then out on the town. So what’s one of our favorite things to do while kickin’ it in our crib? GAME NIGHT!!!! Yes that’s right, bring out the chips, salsa, good libations, and even good friends along with some Trivial Pursuit, Catch Phrase, heck throw in a little Dream Date and we are golden. We have so much fun and it feels like we’re kids again.
My nerd-dom even goes a step further as I’m a gamer in general. For those of you non-gamers that have no clue what a gamer is, that’s someone who plays video games! Yes ever since I was listening to Wham and Regan was Pres, I was on my Nintendo playing Duck Hunt and Super Mario Brothers. Go even further back and I was a total pinball wizard! Get me on a video game and forget about it, I’m not leaving the house! What can I say I love technology! I even love playing online too! There are so many great sites out there for playing online like http://www.foxybingo.com/ it’s a great way to play if you don’t want to spend the cash on a PS3 or Xbox etc. The great thing about these sites is you can win real prizes or cash or whatever! It’s like a casino in your own home!
Seriously games are fun and it keeps you young at heart whether online, at home, and even in the bedroom! That’s a whole other story kids!
This week I thought, “Wouldn’t it be swell if I brought one of the most sought after guys from our history, Ayinde.” Remember him? Tall, dark, handsome, really loves his business? Yep that’s the one. I have to say, don’t let the cuteness fool ya. This chap is all about the “And” factor. What’s that you ask? He wants the beauty and the brains, and he just can’t seem to find it. Get out your Kleenex. It’s such a tragedy having swarms of gorgeous women at your feet. Boo hoo.
On the flip side we have Mr. Mom Mitch — just a sweet guy with three kids who wants a great girl. Wait, there’s gotta be a catch? No? Ok I’m digging this. Move over Ayinde Team MC has found our “And” in Mitch he’s cute and sweet! Hooray! At the mixer we found both guys the cream of the crop. These girls were stunning AND smart AND too good for this radio-pushing, volleyball player. Did I mention he has a booming radio business? Seriously it’s great stuff, and you must have heard of it? Mitch chose Tova and “AND-inde” chose Bracha (No it’s not Brakkkkkkhaaaaa, not everyone is Jewish, Patti).
Mitch and Tova went out to the Serengeti of Malibu for some wine and camel feeding. This actually was a fun idea for a first date. No camel spit was involved so that was good. On the other side of town it was community service day for “AND-inde” and Bracha. I’m a huge advocate for charity and helping others, but getting a girl dirty planting on a first date is huge no-no. The dinners between both couples were like night AND day. Mitch and Tova were lovely and sweet, whereas Ayinde and Bracha were awkward AND uncomfortable AND judgemental AND a whole lot of nothing.
So there you go Ayinde you got a whole ton of AND. That’s what you wanted right? Mitch you rocked, and I wish you the best! Mr. Camel give us a call I’ll find you a lady camel with two perfect humps!
Ladies and gents this week was one wild ride at the Millionaires Club. Destin and I decided we were gluttons for punishment and so we brought in Frank a millionaire plastic surgeon from Las Vegas who looked like Lou Ferrigno’s-hair-plug-wearing–chalk-white-teeth-bearing cousin. Frank’s problem: control freak to the max. I wonder if he doesn’t get his way does he turn green too?
Next up we had a real floozy, I mean doozey, with Brit childhood actress Emma Ridley. Emma looked like the epitome of when bad girls go rotten. She was like a BBC poor man’s version of Girls Gone Wild, the washed up edition. Talk about a case study, good grief. Emma’s list of issues are as long as her straw hair extensions. Let’s see, she was once big in the UK, enjoyed partying a bit too much, got knocked up and hitched at the ripe old age of 13, partied some more, got divorced, partied, got married, he lit the house on fire along with her weave, partied more, had more kids, partied, and now teaches pole dancing in the Valley. I think that about covers it. Boy isn’t our job glamorous?
With Hulk Jr. and Pole Waxer, I mean, Dancer (boy I have to stop doing that), we decided to do the two-way mirror and let them pick their poison. Emma and Frank actually chose two great dater, but it would remain to be seen if they actually listened to us.
Frank decided it was a grand idea to wake his poor date up at the crack of dawn, because, you know, everyone is a morning person right? Keep dreaming Frank-n-Furter. Then he thought hey, girls love boxing and even better to step in the ring and box! Delusional, party of one? Yep good times, a 5 am wakeup call and then a boxing match where you and a female Ortiz go mano y mano.
Emma, decided to surprise her date with an all girl revue strip dance extravaganza, complete with fog and pole cam. It was like out of a bad 1980s hair band video. I really felt bad for her date. She went from sassy to classy to trashy all in the blink of an eyelet on her corset. Then at dinner things went from bad to worse.
It’s really no wonder we were batting zero this week, when you try to tame the wild beast it just doesn’t always work. Dr. Frankenstein, time to create a lady friend who you can control. I mean ya have the plastic for it! Emma, you just keep climbing those brass poles! I bid you adieu.
Hey Toto, we are most definitely not in Kansas anymore! This week we entered the Gay Zone! All gay all the time! First time actually, in Matchmaker history having both clients gay. The Gays are truly my favorite type of client. As I always say, “Viva La Gay!”
We had our good friendMadison known for selling beautiful million dollar homes in Malibu and a wounded production company owner and sweetheart named Eric. Two fabulous guys looking for their knight in shining sequins! Can this get any better? I think not!
It was going to be an easy week finding a perfect handful of boys for our intimate mixer. Let me just say that we did find some, however not all were pretty and buchey on the gay front. Seriously between the scary speedo-wearing-shnoz-o-ramma-butta-face guy and Mr. I-love-glitter-so-much-it-has-become-a-permanent-fixture, I was beginning to worry. Hey even in the gay world it ain’t all rainbows!
This really was a magical week again team MC scored two for two with Madison and Charlie and Eric and Christopher. Really no one screwed up, and no one screwed each other! Very proud of those boys! (Sniff) Take note straight land, this is how it gets done.
FYI, Patti, glitter does not equate to Drag Queens that’s why you should just leave the gays to those who get it, capiche? Toodles!
So what do you get when you cross a Creole cutie and a Jewish gigolo? Just another day at the office! Yes this week we had two young bloods William from San Diego and Brandon from LA by way of Louisiana. Let’s start with the schmaltz shall we?
William. Oh William you sweet, young, wannabe kid you. With your sexy this, and sexy that, and I take girls to bed not mom je ne sais quoi. Enough with the fake player business because as the saying goes, “He who brags about it ain’t getting any.” His type, Lucy Liu meets Eva Mendes — the more exotic the better. All William needed was a session with Pat Allen and he’d be good to go right? I’m not betting my gelt on this one.
On the other end of the spectrum, we had Brandon the wounded little beignet from LA, and L.A. He can get any girl he wants just by walking into a club reeking of crawfish and French love sonnets. Maybe he should teach William “voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” Come on you all know this one! Brandon’s type, the buh-dunk-a-dunk in the trunk, Kim K. Are you surprised?
After finding the hottest group of Asians, Latinas, and booty bumpers it was time to get our speakeasy on! Just have to say how amazing that mixer location was! La Descarga is truly a hot find here in La-La Land. The mixer seemed to be going off without a hitch until Mr. He-Wish-He-Had-Game started talking about sex to all the girls and letting them sit on his lap! Well so much for Pat Allen. I mean please tell me you wanted to slap him in the face on behalf of those poor girls?!?
Moving on, Brandon of course was cute, hip, and asking all the right questions. They both chose the same girl, she chose Brandon (duh like you didn’t see that a mile away!) Faharah was sloppy seconds and agreed to go out with William. The look on Mr. Player’s face-priceless. William took poor Faharah on a polo date which is a huge no-no. Girls, would you want to sit on a horse, wear a helmet, ruin your hair, and whack balls on a first date?! Yeah didn’t think so! In the end he redeemed himself with the nice romantic dinner and even went in for the kiss.
Brandon took Jaclyn paragliding which again can I get an “amen” ladies, that is some crazy you-know-what to do on a first date!
However Brandon won the girl with a picnic on the beach and moving in for the kiss. Looks like we were winners all around this week! OK, so sometimes the clients do listen to us. I just hope William remembers guys don’t fall in love with vajay-jays they fall in love with virtue. You can take that one to the bank kids!
We here at MC have quite the range of clients. At any moment we can have anyone from a fresh-off-the-bank-roll-millionaire to royal blood by way of a father’s-father-cousin’s- uncle’s-dog-twice-removed. Yep it’s going to be that kind of week.
Destin brought Prince [INSERT REALLY LONG COOL SOUNDING NAME HERE], and I threw in Mr. New Money Nerd who stays home on a Friday night playing with his fine felt friends. FYI, I would never take Sin Halo to that puppet show! Creepy.
Long story short, Prince chose Clark, Prince kissed Clark, Clark said “Score,” and they rode off on horse to a land far, far away before either of them turned into a pumpkin. Geek turned chic, Geek chose Punky Brewster’s long lost, tooth missing cousin, Geek did some shots, and puppets rode off on horse with Punky.
Ahhh life is grand isn’t it? Boy I need a vacation, Austria’s nice this time of year yes?
I’ve noticed in my years of matchmaking that no matter where you go there will always be people searching for love and needing our help — we could be in La-La Land, The Big Apple, or even the land of hockey, bacon, and using the word “eh” after every sentence. That’s right good ol’ Canada! I really do love Canada and the people there are as sweet as can be.
Of course, there’s always one in the bunch that has to ruin it all right!?!
This week I had the pleasure of bringing a little Canuck to Team MC, David Mezheritsky AKA David Mez. We’ll just call him “The Mez.” I think he’d like that, eh? Now don’t get me wrong — he’s quite a looker and quite a charmer, but, boy howdy, this one’s living in the dark ages. Yes, women can still stay home and be housewives, but they can also have a life on top! I’m living proof! I take care of my two-year-old son Sin Halo and matchmake and do most of the housework! Yes, we superwomen exist! David needed a gal that could be a superwoman to show him. Stepford is so passé, eh. Oh and by the way I stand corrected, he’s cocky.
Destin this week brought Team MC Brian Wallos AKA Mr. Benchwarmer. We’ll just leave it at that. I really had issues with the whole scantily clad hoochies on baseball cards thing. I’m just not into treating women like sides of Canadian bacon. “The Mez” on the other hand, would love this! Brian’s issue was finding a gal that could handle his bench warming babes and wanting to settle down and have a family — fair enough. Brian, sadly, was as rusty as an old can of Labatt Blue. He hadn’t been on a real date in years so it was time to get this guy off the bench and in the game. We decided to do an intimate dinner mixer as these two needed to get their heads in the game, and I don’t mean the ones downstairs.
We chose the perfect girls for both fellas now it was up to them to pick wisely. I was really hoping “The Mez” was going to chose Annaliese as she really was the right choice. Instead the head downstairs decided to control the situation, and he picked Stephanie. Figures. Brian, on the other end of the table was failing miserably with the girls. It was really painful to watch actually. We were all hoping for Debra to be his teammate, and sure enough she was! Go team!
“The Mez” decided it was now time for a little tonsil hockey with Stephanie and all was right in the world. Right? Right? Oye vey, eh.
I’m going to cut right to the chase, Brian besides your “Benchwarmer Babes” showing up randomly (yeah right!) to dinner, you get the A+ this week. You were romantic, gentlemanly, and clearly used a bit of WD40 with Debra. So proud of you slugger!
Now on to the failure this week as there always has to be one. “The Mez” just couldn’t get enough of his home and had his date imported in to Canada. First stop the ever popular Ice Sauna where you too can experience what it’s like to be a Canadian icicle. Hey girls don’t this sound like fun and romantic hanging out in a meat locker? Then they of course had to take a steamy bath where “The Mez” decided to pull the old take-off-the-bikini-top-with-one-hand trick. Classy. I’m not sure how those two even made it to dinner. At this point, I was waiting for them to hurl themselves onto the table and roll around in their Caesar salads. Have you lost your appetite yet? Because I sure have. Of course, there was no arm twisting to get Stephanie into his penthouse for a nice glass of Canadian Mist and then, well, the rest is history.
It’s no surprise “The Mez” is still searching the mountains of Canada to find his wife. I’m sure he’s going to be on ice for a very long time. Brian, well you are on the right track and we salute you! Coco the chicken, it’s really impolite to peck at scones before the guest has one. Bad chicken!
That’s right LaLa-land, Team MC is back in the house taking the land of plastic, beauty, and moolah by storm. So we had our fun in NYC, but as the saying goes: home is where the heart is. At least home is where the not-so-schleppy are. We have a brand spanking new office and plenty of millionaires and non-millionaires in need of some serious help.
Destin and I were feeling a bit punchy this week and decided to bring back a bit of the Big Apple with Gary. He sure does remind me of a certain shot drinking, bro-loving, pain in the you know what back east! Moving right along, to cut to the chase he chose giggle-puss Bonnie because she was more do-able. Here we go again. They just never listen to us do they?
I love the complete unawareness of Gary in regards to Bonnie having a near panic attack on the helicopter. “She looked like she was enjoying herself.” I think the helicopter just flew over your head Gary. Round 2 is dinner on a yacht. OK now we’re in good dating territory. Oh wait, did I speak too soon? Gary she’s over here, focus. He can’t even look at her when speaking? Lastly Gary does the king of all no-nos and asks to kiss her! So being the smart girl Bonnie is (we trained her well,) she schools Gary on moving in for the kiss. Gary does, but I have to tell you it felt like I was watching some sort of caveman date as he grabbed her by the back of her head and shoved his face in hers. “Ugh me want woman. Ugh me get woman. Ugh me kiss woman.”
Next up to bat is Michael, tall, hunky, worldly — CREEPY. I really thought Michael was going to be a gentleman, being that he is such a well traveled chap. I thought he was going to actually listen to us, being that he has such a wealth of knowledge and languages and artistic talents. I really thought. . .oh who am I kidding?
Michael picks Tammy of course, the golden goddess that was a no-brainer. He has her picked up in a nice car to whisk her off to. . .wait for it. . .AN AMAZING ALLEYWAY WITH A CREEPY WAREHOUSE. Ahem, sorry a “state of the art studio.” OMG every girl’s dream date right?!? At this point I would have said “check please.” He leads her into the fancy pantsy studio to make her dress up in borrowed clothes and take photos with him behind the camera in front of some cheese ball sports car circa Back to the Future. Did you get all that? If that isn’t creepy I don’t know what is! To make this even creepier he poses her like she’s some sort of puppet. Did I mention the use of “fantastico” every five seconds? So yet again we have another clueless fellow who thought she looked so natural and comfortable doing this. She looked about as natural as half the women in Hollywood. Next up they head to a nice dinner where I was surprised he wasn’t taking photos of her eating for his Mr. Creepy collection. Believe it or not he went in for the kiss and the dinner was fantastico!
So much for a clean start right? Well it does feel good to be back home. Oh LA, how I have missed thee.
I just recently did a PSA for anti-bullying with an amazing group of organizations called mylifemypower.org and SFK (Success For Kids.) This was not only an honor to be a part of but a huge important project for me to be involved in. Growing up I was victim to bullying and still victim today for being different. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved and who I am and it disgusts me to see that so many little ones are dying from this! I was fortunate to have amazing parents who I could go to for anything and supported me tattoos, colored hair, and all. People were designed to have free will and be unique not cookie cutter robots. No one deserves to be hated for the color of their skin, sexuality, religion, height, weight, etc. NO ONE. This is why there is so much hatred in the world more so than when I was a kid. My message to all those hurting out there from being picked on: You are not alone and there’s always help. You are wonderful the way you are and the bullies are the ones who are ugly not you. My message to the bullies: It’s you who lose in the end.
In my years of dating there were times I wasn’t happy with myself. We all go through periods where we wish we could kick ourselves to the curb. When I was in this slump I realized how it affected the people I was dating or if I was single I sure as hell wasn’t getting any one knocking on my door. So after awhile I figured out that when I was happy with whom I was, it spread like wild fire to all around me. Love yourself, and you can love another. This mantra I swear by every day. Love doesn’t mean you have to be the prettiest or the handsomest or even the smartest. Love equals love as without love it doesn’t exist. Wow deep thoughts eh?! This may sound corny but it’s true. When you are in a dating desert, think about how you feel about yourself at that time. Are you unhappy with yourself, are you lacking self esteem? Think of people you know like friends, family, celebs who are miserable with themselves and look at how their love life is. Always start with you.
Everyone knows me as “COO Destin Pfaff’s receptionist fiancée, girl wrangler, Director of Registration, blah blah blah.” Well here’s the REAL TRUTH…yes I work with Patti and yes Destin too and yes we are engaged and have a son. I originally started with Millionaires Club as the Director of Registration handling all the girls that came in and getting them registered with us. As time went on Patti saw I had a knack for matching and dubbed me a matchmaker as well. In addition, I approached her to try doing matchmaking for the LGBT community in which I’m a HUGE advocate for and have been a part of for years. She loved the idea and thus made me head of our new gay division. A season later, and with Chelsea sailing away, I got promoted to VP of Matching. People ask…”Do you love what you do?” My answer: Very much so! There’s nothing more awesome than finding people love. I mean that’s one of the soul purposes in life right? It’s not an easy job that’s for sure but worth the blood, sweat, and tears in the end. Love is one of the main cogs in the machine of life.
On July 27, 2009 the world as I knew it changed! Out popped Sin Halo Jude Pfaff and out went my “just a girl” status. That was the best day of my life thus far and the scariest. The story goes; I was induced into labor (however I was feeling no pain so that was good) and sent to the hospital. We all noticed the heart rate kept dipping and so the final decision was to have an emergency c-section. I was unprepared and really wanted to have him naturally (well with an epidural of course!) I sucked it up and placed my fear aside and all went beautifully. It’s amazing how when in the right circumstance you become “superwoman.” 14 months later and Sin is the most wonderful little boy in the world!
Someone once told me, “You may have thought you were no longer a girl because of your age and what not, but you still were as you were not a mom. Well now you have officially become part of the club of womanhood.” It’s so true and I love the true woman I have become. All the new curves, aches, baby weight I’m still trying to lose, and craziness are worth every bit…because look what I have to show for it! Being a mom rocks and I love the beautiful little boy Destin and I created.
