You all know how much of a charity and people lover Rachel is… but in some ways, so am I. I am so proud and happy that Rachel has been asked to be the spokes-celeb for the fight against The Choking Game. If you haven’t heard about it, well that’s no surprise to me as most people have no clue what that is. This so-called game is yet another terrible fad that young children are doing all over the US and even the world. If you can remember what being a child was like and how fads spread like wildfire, well you can only imagine!
So here’s what it is; tweens and even younger are indulging in choking each other, passing out, then coming to causing a quick “high.” Some even do this suffocation alone! The issue…most often they never return. I lost a good friend in high school to this awful game and knew loads of kids doing it so it hits home for me. I was lucky to see just how idiotic it was to do this and had parents who were very much into my life- sometimes too much! Two women who are cousins Barb and Neecy, told me about their personal experience on Twitter. Neecy found her son one morning alone, and sadly was one of those who never came back. He was only 13. Having not laying down they have started to fight the battle and make the world aware of this “game” and I’m joining them. I don’t know what I would do if this were to happen to my son!
If you can believe this, as of now when someone dies from this game it is not considered a real death but instead classified as a suicide! So we have grabbed our pitchforks, and are mobbing congress to make this is legal and REAL death. I would love you all to help us win this battle and sign the petition by going here, http://www.petition2congress.com/5809/stop-choking-game/ you’ll see so many speaking up about their own children passing out and passing on. If you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, or a humanitarian then speak out with us.
I love Dr. Pat Allen. I do. There’s nothing like a semi-truck bluntness from a feisty lil’ lady. We’ll get back to that.
This week we had the Jewish businessman who thinks he’s a player (William) and the wounded Justin Timberlake from Mardi-Grasville (Brandon). William thinks he has game with the ladies. Problem is, if he has game — he lost the instructions on how to play ‘cuz he SUCKS at it. I don’t care what he says. Buddy, you want the exotic-erotic type of Lucy Liu meets Eva Mendes, you better be able to spit poetry with every word that comes out of your mouth. #EPICFAIL.
Brandon is good-looking, suave, and charming, but his butt-hurtness over past relationships needs to be healed — and ASAP! It’s been too long pal, and life is too short! Time for a love intervention!
At the mixer, there were a solid collection of big booties, exotics, and Latin lovelies from LaLa. William had no game (surprise) and didn’t listen to us the way he should have. Don’t get me wrong. I like the guy and his heart seems to be in the right place, but stop trying to be a playboy. You’re NOT. #EPICFAIL Just be the nice guy you are.
Brandon got over his issues and made us all proud.
Both boys picked the same girl (Jaclyn) — who ultimately went with Brandon (shocker!). ‘Second Fiddle Farrah’ agreed to go out with William.
William started his date on a horse #EPICFAIL, but ended well with a nice dinner and kiss #REDEMPTION.
After Brandon slightly mis-stepped with a little crazy air surfing, he did the picnic and kiss date, which at that point ended up being charming, simple, and PERFECTO! You suave guy you.
Both guys ended up on top, as did we!
Oh, and back to Pat — she is this episode’s top winner for saying vagina at least once every time she visits us!
Rachel and I are getting married this year. I know, I know — it’s about time. We’ve been going back and forth on where to have it for months and finally settled on a city we love –- NEW YORK! It’s going to be a intimate celebration with a few friends and family, and of course our son. . .who is my best man.
Speaking of best men, my client this week is one my absolute favorites -– Mitch. Mitch is a technology guy who’s ex left him for drug dealer. Ouch. He’s a “soccer dad” who loves his kids to death. When it comes to women, he loves J. Lo and Brittany Spears. . .as in their look, not their music.
Also this week, Rachel has decided to bring back another favorite, Ayinde. Ayinde is a good-looking, former pro-volleyball player that has charm and charisma in truckloads. He recently started an internet radio station and has once again found himself single. He thinks he’s the whole package, so he wants the whole package — good schooling, good height, good looks, good personality, good family. . .good grief.
Mitch needs to work on his swagger. He needs to bring the bad boy out a little and not over share his feelings. He needs to butch up.
Ayinde needs to pocket his business talk and stop flapping his lips on how great he is. He needs to unarm that bad boy that’s got the knife to throat of the good boy inside we used to know.
We decided to have an intimate mixer this week and give each guy five or six mini-dates instead of a whole room of women to choose from. We had our recruiting session that went amazing and were beyond prepared for the night.
After a prep talk between Mitch and I, our millionaires met and nervously prepared for the evening’s event.
Mitch’s dates go great. He’s empowered and not as wounded. He’s engaging, funny, and he found his inner swagger!
Ayinde can’t get off the business tit and seems to not understand that the girls just don’t care about his damn radio station.
Mitch chooses the perfect match, Tova — a beautiful, sweet girl he takes on an amazing first date –- filled with car service, exotic animal feeding, and private chef prepared meals. They talk and connect. And even though Mitch slightly reverts back to his old ways of oversharing his feelings, Tova takes it with a grain of salt. A “wrinkle that can be ironed out,” I like that.
Ayinde chooses Bracha — a culinary instructor who has it all going for her — brains, body, and talent. He takes her (without telling her mind you — so she’s all decked out) on a crappy first date planting a tree, followed by a diner where he grills her on food choices, education, and everything else under the sun. Ultimately concluding that she’s not a good enough for him — because she’s got an up and coming business! Yep, throat officially slit of the good boy. Sigh.
In the end, Mitch balanced his good and bad — and came out on top. Ayinde, on the other hand, didn’t. Instead, he got kicked out of our offices. . . dragging his dead good boy behind him.
This week, our clients are Steve and Gary. Steve is a world-renown hypnotherapist, who made some mistakes early on in life.
Gary is a motivational speaker who has a list a mile long (I want this, I want that, I want this, I want that blah blah blah). . .the most important of which is that they love God, and have big boobies.
He’s a decent looking chap that really just wants his own Jessica Simpson. Not mommy jeans-era Simpson, but apparently burping, 98 Degrees-loving, Chicken of the Sea-era Simpson.
Straight from the recruiting session to the mixer by the sea. . .
At the mixer we have a little bit of everything and a whole lot of something (boobies). There’s a Renee Russo look-a-like, a comedienne, and even a virgin!
Gary starts off rocky with mini-dates that seem like he’s either an interviewer for the Times or he’s buying a car. Steve tries on his mini-dates. I’ll give him credit for that.
Gary picks the boob-er-ific Jennifer and takes her out on a date where he gives her a pedicure and a facial. Nope, not creepy at all.
Steve picked Renee Russo -– I mean Sally –- and takes her surfing (he’s not good), then to dinner and conversation connecting (she’s not good).
In the end, Gary and his date actually had a nice time and he even realized his shortcomings. He’s checking his list twice, and maybe even considering crossing some things off (not God, not boobies). As for Steve, he’s learned a lot too. It wasn’t a match for him, but hopefully it helped him open his eyes to fix some mistakes of his past, so he can fix his life in love in the future.
Oh, and Jersey. . .sorry I said you sucked. Not really. No, I’m kidding. I am. No I’m not. . .OK, I am. Well. . .
I admit it, I hang with a weird crowd. Sure Patti, Rachel, and I are top tier matchmakers –- but we also have lives outside of our “business.” Patti is a great screenwriter and loves to go out and let her hair down — leaving “Business Patti” at the office. Rachel is a talented actor, amazing mother, and live music fanatic. And me, well I’m a filmmaker (see those Sushi Girl posters in the office?), entertainer, father and – well, random people collector. In this collection of friends I have, there is a small group of former child actors. I love ‘em, but they’re a strange bunch. Some of them have entitlement issues, trust issues, ego problems, and/or sexuality disorders. Why am I sharing this?
Meet Emma, my client this week. Emma was a big time British child actor who became known more for parting ways, than her acting chops. She was Britain’s “Wildchild.” Think Lindsay Lohan’s twin sister — but back in the day. She’s a handful. . .and a hotmess. She also got married three times, the first when she was 13. . .to a guy multiple decades older than her. Yep.
She now has “her act together”. . .as a pole dance instruction business owner in the Valley. Yep. ‘Nuff said. (See first paragraph.)
Rachel’s guy is Frank, a control-freak plastic surgeon with a slight god-complex. He wants his future girlfriend to wake up everyday with him by 5 am and start the day running. . .even on weekends and holidays. He doesn’t think this is a problem. Sigh. ‘Nuff said.
We watch the DVDs, and Patti is bugged by both clients’ attitudes and wants to kick their asses.
Emma needs a makeover. . .but refuses. Frank sees the awesome life coach Matt Bennet — who gives him some good ego advice -– but lets see if it sinks in.
We do our recruiting session utilizing the one way mirror, so Emma and Frank can watch as we talk to their potential matches without them knowing.
Frank takes notes, and actually cares. Emma pays more attention to Frank than her possible suitors (“Men like dingy, right?”). Rachel roots for one of the girls, Natalie, for Frank. I look generally annoyed. And Patti thinks “rockstars date trash.” Sigh.
Eventually, the goddess Emma picks Kelly the surf shop owner. On their date, she frightens him with a scary strip-o-rama at her school. . .and not just featuring her, but multiple ladies. Kelly looks horribly uncomfortable, as if he was just talked into going to leather thong night at Jumbo’s Clown Room (look it up).
The date ends with dinner — but Kelly is now scarred for life and can barely function. Cue pole-cam.
Frank decides to take his date, Natalie, out MMA fighting at the crack of dawn. She gets hit in the head a few times while Frank cheers for her. Yep, good idea for a date.
In the end, we did successfully match Emma with Emma –- as that’s the only person that “gets her.” Frank got some sense pounded into him that will hopefully help him out in the future. And me. . .well, I’m glad I wasn’t a child actor.
This week we had an all gay extravaganza — featuring two epically different gentlemen. Madison, as some of you may know from Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing, is a stud, but a lazy stud. His chiseled features and flowing locks have not been able to overcome his complete lack of interest in giving much effort to the world of dating — hence, SINGLE. Then we had my client Eric — a sweet, albeit slightly nervous chap who has a bad habit of rescuing stray dog. . .and by stray dogs I mean guys that have issues he takes home that use him. Oh, Eric.
Eric likes being hands on in his house. . .he also likes to get his hands on “manly men.” Madison likes himself, but the Latin version of himself. Fantastico.
We end up having a poolside recruiting session (um, how come we never do this with the girls?). There’s a lot of “meat” around. . .and a least one banana hammock. Rachel and Patti are having a blast, sipping on margaritas and checking out the dudes. I just look hot and pasty.
My co-workers ask the guys to take off their shirts a bunch of times (again, how come we never do this with the girls). . .and I end up jumping in the pool. And no, I don’t have a slip ‘n’ slide. Wait, hmm, should I?
The mansion mixer starts off slow — but the guys that needed makeovers actually listened and are better for it. We learn about where guys can go in, in and. . .well, not in (thanks Rach!) and the guys get separated. I have to kick Eric’s ass into “How to have a proper conversation class.” Madison is in need of a good shaking, and Patti is starting to look annoyed. . .as are Rachel and I. Then suddenly. . .BOOM! Eric is on a roll, Madison is trying and the whole thing ends up going great!
The guys pick their dates and go off into the first date sunset, which are AWESOME. Sweet, romantic. and real -– not douchy or over the top. These guys put forth EFFORT. Bravo!
In the end, the guys are happy, we’re happy and I gotta say. . .I wish our straight clients would take some notes, cuz these gays know how to do dating right!
What a week at MC. My client was Captain Monogram himself, Prince Max. He is looking for the right woman to settle his royal loins down with. Yep. Nice guy, but a little too “affected.” Still, duty calls, and I’d like to see him happy and sailing off into the sunset with the perfect dame.
Then we have Rachel’s winner, Danny the Geek, a Groupon mascot who is about as socially awkward as a Jonas Brother at an orgy.
With my encouragement, Patti instructs MaxiPad not to lead with his “royal” foot. She then gives Danny Boy the hipster makeover to give him the illusion of showering.
At the mixer, Prince hides his symbols and surprisingly shines to the girls, ending up with my top choice, Clark — a tall, blonde, drink of water — that fits him mentally. Dan the Man on the other hand, ends up choosing a feisty spitfire prepared to eat him alive. . .seemingly literally.
Max and Clark kiss. Yay. Happiness. Good Prince. Daniel and Sheena kiss (well, she kisses him) and his tiger turns out to be nothing more than a little p—y. In the end, I’m proud of my client , his royal highness — and really, that’s all I can ask for. Meow.
The Battle For Change — Sigh, that’s what it felt like anyway.
This week we had tons of change. . .starting things off with Sex Toy Dave changing his ways and settling down and getting married. Hopefully for his sake, his new wife is better than his pole.
Then we had the, um, lovely Tori Spelling moving from 90210 to a free roaming furry pet chicken farm — complete with pre-pecked breakfast scones. Sorry, animals on the table are gross, but at least she gave some good womanly advice.
Then there were our millionaires, one changing from his chauvinist ways into a decent dater, the other. . .changing his underwear (allegedly) after sex (allegedly).
Brian is constantly surrounded by gorgeous women, and claims to always make them jealous. Thankfully Brian picked a confidant woman and proved that his beautiful work friends are, in fact, just friends — and he knows how to keep work and play separate. Kudos. Nice job. Good date. Nice guy. Sorry, I yelled at you.
David, however, wasn’t able to change his mind that a woman could not only be beautiful, but also have a job, and raise a family. . .probably because although he found a great match, he instead chose to go with the other girl and attempt to freeze her. At least he was a gentleman and found a way to quickly “warm her up.” Wait, that twitch ain’t gentlemanly!
Our two daters were ultimately happy in the end, even if we, the matchmakers, weren’t. . .and yeah, give it up too soon — and he ain’t callin’ ya, sister!
Well at least you all remember what we say, “No sex without condoms er. . .monogamy.”
We just finished a movie which I wrote, produced, and even acted in. I don’t want to give too much away, but “Sushi Girl” is a thriller with all sorts of twists and turns. It marks the return of two iconic actors. Noah Hathaway (Atreyu, Never Ending Story) returns from a 17 year acting hiatus to do this film. In a role that is completely new, Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker, Star Wars) makes his comeback. Also in the film are Tony Todd, Danny Trejo, Andy Mackenzie, James Duvall, David Dasmalchian, Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey and Courtney Palm. It was a dream come true for me to work and become friends with some amazing and truly talented people. Please keep an eye out for SUSHI GIRL!
Single on Valentine’s Day? Here are my TOP EIGHT TIPS to use it to your advantage!
Get Over Yourself. No moping. No self-pity. No tears watching romantic movies alone, feeling sorry for yourself with a tub of Haagan Daz. Get dressed up, have a glass of wine and get ready to take on the night!
Prep yourself! Buy the DVD Married In A Year…. And know the Rules to follow – not just for V-Day – but everyday of your single life.
Go out with the girls! Valentine’s is the rare night of the year its okay to go out with a pack of friends. Normally, those in packs do not attract – but this night, have fun with your girlfriends – single guys are a little more brave this evening and will infiltrate if interested… but only if you give them an ‘in’.
Go out by yourself! Hit a swanky lounge and practice your best five second flirt. Odds are if you see a guy by himself this night – he’s single too!
DON’T focus on the negative. You’re out, have FUN! Guys can smell negativity a mile away.
Need somewhere to go? Hit a Singles Valentine’s Event! Like the one Rachel and I are hosting at Lavo Las Vegas Sunday night!
Someone asked you out? DATE! Don’t let the ‘stigma’ of Valentine’s Day keep you from going out on a first date – keep it light, keep it easy, acknowledge the ‘holiday’ and move on!
Cant go out that night? ONLINE DATING! Take the night to make an event of making your first (or new and improved) online dating profile. Remember – be honest in it!
I often get asked, “How’d you end up as a Matchmaker?” Well, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would become a matchmaker. I came to L.A. to find my muse as a screenwriter. I would do short stints fixing up people’s businesses, then break for writing.
When I met Patti, it was only going to be a few weeks of helping her out. Now more than 5 years later, she’s trusted me to fully run and help realize the potential of her business, taught me the secrets of becoming a matchmaker (something I fought kicking and screaming, but turned out I had a knack for) and she has become my best friend.
With all this going on – COO of Millionaires Club, successful matchmaker, reality TV star – I’ve also found myself with my other career booming: Writing, directing and producing films, some big budget, some smaller. I couldn’t be happier. It’s a weird life, but a darn good one.
It’s been over a year since I’ve been a father and it has changed my life in every way imaginable. I knew I would love him, but now that he’s here, the love and intense worry iIt’s been over a year since I’ve been a father and it has changed my life in every way imaginable. I knew I would love him, but now that he’s here, the love and intense worry is more than I ever knew one could experience. I care more now about everything in life… including myself. I want to be the best dad in the world, and that’s more important than anything else. There’s so much going on in life, but my son is the most important to me. Every day I do my best to make a better life for him, it’s amazing to think in one year my life has changed and I couldn’t be happier.s more than I ever knew one could experience. I care more now about everything in life… including myself. I want to be the best dad in the world, and that’s more important than anything else. There’s so much going on in life, but my son is the most important to me. Every day I do my best to make a better life for him, it’s amazing to think in one year my life has changed and I couldn’t be happier.
The one question I get asked all the time is, are the men of the Millionaire’s Club really like they are on the show? Yes and no….
All of our guys are completely different. Not just in occupation but also in personality, which makes my job all the more interesting. Some of our men have issues, just like on the show and some don’t. I think a big difference is that on the show we have a very limited amount of time to work with someone. If they have a major issues, which some of the guys on the show do we don’t always have enough time to really work with them.
The show is the show, and our business is our business, somehow they both manage to remain separate but then intertwine as well. So the answer to the question, is still a yes and a no.
Aside from just matching people, we also try to work with them. There’s more to it than just looking at two people and figuring they’d look cute together. Sometime we have to really work with our clients and make them more desirable.
A big part of this requires us to be upfront with the men — “This is what we see you doing wrong,” “This is what the girls are saying you’re doing wrong,” “This is what you need to work on,” “Look in the mirror. How can we help make you happy in love and life? There’s a reason you’re single.”
We may be curt about this. We may say it frankly and point blank, but it’s only because we want to help. We want our clients to be happy, healthy and in love! There’s a match out there for everyone! Sometimes those matches just need a little bit more work.