We really wish we were based in California and could hop a train to San Diego this week. Alas, we’ll be posting Comic-Con coverage from afar, starting with this rundown of some of the stranger SDCC panels lined up for 2011. The full schedule is available on the official site, but we went through and came up with the screenings, how-tos, and discussions that — whether they were absurd, awesome, or unexpected — made us say, “Huh?”

Comic-Con How-To: Costuming with Sabrina Belly Dancer— Sabrina will show how to create a costume bra top for hall costumes or a masquerade performance. She will create the costume bra and, time permitting, will also show the application of Long Wearing Fantasy Eye Makeup For Long Days On The Con Floor and for hall costume or masquerade performances. (Thursday)

This is my favorite, hands-down. Not only is it an hour devoted to costuming, but it focuses entirely on the scrap of cloth covering geek girls’ bosoms. Is it like that Victoria’s Secret bra where you can use it for five different characters, or is Sabrina showing ladies how to make a prototype that they’ll use in all their craft projects? Let’s take bets on what the male-to-female attendee ratio will be: 60/40? 50/50?

Sushi Girl— Sushi Girl chronicles the story of five friends who reunite six years after a diamond-job-gone-wrong to eat sushi off a naked girl. Sure enough, the thieves can’t help opening old wounds in an attempt to find their missing loot, and all mayhem ensues. This film marks the return to the big screen for Mark Hamill (Star Wars) and Noah Hathaway (Neverending Story) and also features cast members Tony Todd (Candy Man), James Duval (Donnie Darko), Andy Mackenzie (Shoot ‘Em Up), David Dastmalchian (The Dark Knight), and Cortney Palm (Sunday Morning High). The legendary Sonny Chiba (Kill Bill) also stars. Kern Saxton (Deader Living Through Chemistry) directed and co-wrote with Destin Pfaff (Millionaire Matchmaker). Producers Neal Fischer (Fight Club) and Suren Seron (Forever Plaid) and moderator Ted Stryker (KROC) round out the panel. Meet the entire cast and creators and witness the world premiere of the official trailer, followed by Q&A session. (Friday)

I tried not to include entries where it was the project, and not necessarily the panel, that threw me for a loop, but I couldn’t resist with this one. From the first line, I’m hooked — of course a bunch of thieves with long-simmering resentments will meet up to gobble raw fish off a pretty naked girl! And in what other world than Comic-Con could Luke Skywalker be sitting on the same panel as the guy with the weird mohawk from Millionaire Matchmaker?

Twilight Fan Panel— ScarlettLetters (Wild Swan), ArcadianMaggie (I Wept Not), MJinAspen (Reality Minus Expectations), Rochelle Allison (Stary Eyed Inside), magnolia822 (A Quit Fire), Belladonna1472 (The Cullen Campaign) and Einfach Mich (Confessions of a Difficult Woman) make up this year’s panel of Twilight fan fiction authors. They’ll answer questions about the challenges and joys of writing derivative fiction in the Twilight fandom. (Saturday)

Every time I hear about fan fiction being accepted in popular culture, I get steamed — if I’d known that I could be speaking on an SDCC panel, I wouldn’t have spent all that time applying to high school!

Spotlight on Tsuneo Goda— Comic-Con special guest Tsuneo Goda (Domo) discusses his creation, Domo-kun, from its humble beginnings to its now worldwide popularity. He’ll cover all the finer points of this internationally recognized and beloved character, as well as some of his new projects and engage in a Q&A session. (Saturday)

This man is the only panelist for whom an entire panel is devoted to his wacked-out imagining Domo-kun — the strange brown creatures chasing the cat in the photo above. Until now, I had never known the name of this creature; I had only seen it in sfwChan memes and laughed because of how absurd it looks.

Supernatural: The Anime Series — Warner Bros. Television’s hit series Supernatural (Fridays 9/8c, The CW) makes history this summer as Supernatural: The Anime Series is released in the United States, the first-ever live-action series to be reimagined in Japanese anime style. Inspired by the U.S. series’ sensational following oversees, Warner Home Video Japan and renowned animation studio Madhouse — working with the full approval of series creator Eric Kripke — produced the anime series, which mirrors the story arc of Supernatural‘s first two seasons, providing supplemental stories ranging from prequels and spinoffs to untold tales that fit within the Supernatural mythology. The all-new, 22-episode animated series will be distributed July 26 by Warner Home Video on Blu-ray, DVD, On Demand, and for Download. (Wednesday)

This is basically a reversal of all of those Taiwanese news videos that animate Sarah Palin and the Jersey Shore cast in bad CGI — meaning, I have no idea about the thought process that went into this. What I’m most curious about is if the anime reimagining is going to be serious like that Twilight comic or a sendup, like everything else Supernatural does.

Mattel and WWE: Past, Present, and Future— Hear from some of the top WWE Superstars of all time as they discuss the storied past, exciting present, and promising future of the company and how it’s all celebrated in Mattel’s action figure toy line! Get a sneak peek at upcoming products and be the first to hear exciting announcements for the 2012 line. Be on hand as WWE Superstars Triple H, Rey Mysterio a surprise WWE Legend, the WWE creative team, Mattel toy designers Bill Miekina and Derek Handy, and Mattel WWE brand manager Enrique Ruvalcaba present an action-packed Q&A! (Thursday)

I know that WWE is fake and relies on outsized characters, but jeez!

Worst Cartoons Ever— Jerry Beck (Cartoon Brew) once again compiles a new selection of the most terribly written, ugliest drawn, and unintentionally funniest animated films ever made. Cartoons include Mighty Mr. Titan (a physical fitness superhero) and Super President (a one-man weapon of mass destruction)! (Friday)

I bet that attendees at this panel will be hoarse from laughing, even as they want to claw their eyes out at the bad drawing and dialogue. However, as I said when I highlighted the Rob Liefeld hate site on Friday, what’s vital to making this a great experience is the zingers that Beck prepares in mocking these awful cartoons.

Vampires and Others— How do you make a relationship work when you or your significant other lack a pulse or face other mortal-challenged issues? Get relationship advice from Patricia Briggs (The Mercy Thompson series), Nancy Holder (The Crusade series), Linda Thomas-Sundstrom (The Golden Vampire), S.G. Browne (Fated), Clay and Susan Griffith (The Vampire Empire series), and Christine Cody (Bloodlands). Moderated by Maryelizabeth Hart of Mysterious Galaxy. (Saturday)

This is incredible. How will they give out this advice with a straight face? And what happens when  you have preteen Twilight fans clamoring for the supernatural version of the “birds and the bees” talk, complete with bloodplay etiquette? As for those “others,” I’m guessing the authors will give relationship advice for zombies, werewolves, and angels.

501st Costuming 101: Dressing to Serve the Empire!— This panel describes the essentials about what it takes to create a costume that meets the standards of quality for entry into the 501st Legion. It will provide an overview of what is involved in creating a costume, the various costume categories, and the amount of time involved in creating a costume that is screen accurate. A panel of experts will describe and display, and demonstrate tips and techniques used for their costume specialty. Plus learn about the mission of the 501st Legion. (Sunday)

If Sabrina’s bra tutorial isn’t enough, there’s a panel on head-to-toe costuming. And this is apparently a thing — it’s an entire legion devoted to the most hardcore cosplayers, as a way to really delve into the Star Wars universe. I ask you again, why did I waste my time with college when I could’ve been dressing up as all the humans, aliens, and robots from my Star Wars Character Book?