Photo Credit: Astrid Stawiarz/ Getty Images
Photo:Patti Stanger, Rachel Federoff and Destin Pfaff of Millionaire Matchmaker fame.

Will the  Jersey Shore cast ever find love? Real love, not drunk love with whoever can stand them for more than five minutes? (Or is that the definition of real love?) With Valentine’s Day coming up, we turned to Destin Pfaff and Rachel Federoff of Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker for some very tough love advice for the Jersey Shore cast. [Check out their dating tips here.]

“All in all these girls and guys are a complete dating don’t!” Rachel, the Millionaire’s Club’s VP of Matching, told Wetpaint exclusively. “They are young and immature and the only thing they have on their minds is drinking, screwing, and fighting. When these ‘children’ decide to put down the PBR, drop the attitude, and grow up and take love seriously then I would gladly match them. Right now they deserve to fester in their incestuous love octagon. I just hope no one gets knocked up and they use protection.”

Well, then!

Adds Destin, COO of the Millionaire’s Club, “My challenge — no sex, no make-up, no tanning, no hairspray, no drinking and do nothing but volunteer work with homeless children for three weeks — then let’s talk.”

Here are the stars they suggest as potential matches for the GTL crew:

Snooki — Andy Dick – maybe that’ll scare her into “reality”
JWoww — Van Damm
Sammi — Ronnie
Deena — Snooki
The Situation — The Situation
Pauly D – Lindsay Lohan or Brit-Brit
Ronnie — Sammi
Vinny — maybe Selena Gomez in five years

So it looks like Ronnie and Sammi deserve each other, The Situation’s best match is himself, and Snooki’s bf Jionni is NOT the best guy for her. Guess we were wrong!